Emotions

Yesterday was a day of mixed emotions.  It started out (at 11 p.m. Thursday night when I got up when I left for work) TIRED.  I knew the day that I had ahead of me and that I would not be able to sleep until about 8 p.m.  Then at work was just a busy STRESSFUL day. Then at 6:30 a.m. my Husband called me at work to tell me that his Dad was at your house watching Mallorie instead of his Mom.  (His Mom's mom has inoperable brain tumors and is in Hospice House.) I then started to WORRY that Grandma was not doing well.  When I got home I saw Mallorie's smile and  I was HAPPY.  She has a way of making everything better.  Then after my father-in-law left he called me and told me that he had called Brad's mom.  I became ANXIOUS.  His dad doesn't just call me for no reason.  He then told me that Grandma was gone!  Instant SADNESS came over me.  She was an amazing woman and so many people have love and been loved by her.  I then got really NERVOUS.  I realized that I would have to call my husband and give him the news.   He took it really well and I was RELIEVED.  Later int eh day I had a Dentist appointment and because my Mother-in-law was with her family I did not have a sitter to watch mallorie so she came with me.  I did not know how it would go with her.  But when I got to the appointment she was sleeping and I was HOPEFUL that she would stay that way.  That nap lasted about 15 minutes, just long enough to get the x-rays.  But when she woke up she just played in her carseat and looked around.  She sat there for about a hour and was just content.  So of the office staff came into the room to check and see if they were needed to "entertain" her.  All of them commented on how good she was and pointed out her beautiful blue eyes.  I could not be more PROUD!  After naps (I took one too!) and just the daily household chores were done Brad got home.  I was HAPPY to see how well he was taking the loss.  We got to talking about Grandma and how amazing she was.  I then told him that the first thing that popped into my mind when his dad told me that she was gone was Grandpa.  (10 days from now is the 1 year anniversary of his death) I told him that I could just picture Grandpa waiting for Grandma up in heaven.  and when he saw her he got that big grin on his face and his arm streached out to her.  That thought really put me at EASE knowing that they were together again.  At 8 p.m. I laid down for a nap before work and I was just thinking about the day and about Grandma.  As I laid in bed i realized how GREATFUL I was to have had Grandma Peters in my life and hope I can be half the woman she was!