I have been working on the post for a while now because I do not want to offend anyone but I want to voice my opinion and get my point across the way I have it in my head.
I just wish that society would give credit where credit is due. As most of you know I am a working mother on one. I work third shift which, in my opinion, makes things every harder. It is not possible financially for me not to work. So it was never an option for me to be a stay at home mom. My hubby and I decided from day one that we would put our daughter in daycare during the day while I slept. It was a hard decision to make for me because I could not see spending that amount of money for me to sleep. But, the only other route to go was for me to stay up with her all day and then go to bed when my hubby got home from work. But then I would never see my hubby and we would never have family time during the week. Lucky for me though I get out of work at 8 am on Friday morning so I do get a whole day with Mallorie. The only problem is that that means that I am up from around 3 p.m. on Thursday afternoon until Friday night when I go to bed. (except if I can sleep while she naps, but that is not enough!) Because of this day with Mallorie I get to see into the life of a Stay-at-home mom and frankly... I am jealous!!! I would LOVE to be able to stay home with Mallorie everyday.
Lately I have been hearing a lot about stay-at-home moms in the media, blogs I run into, and just out and about and how hard they have it. Honestly I do see how it is that hard. You get to stay at home and play, teach and love on your child(ren) throughout the day. I dont say all day because I understand that there is a lot of other things that stay-at-home moms do. These activities include cooking, cleaning, teaching, laundry, shopping, errands,and picking-up and dropping-off at different kids activities. My only point to make to everyone is imagine everything that stay-at-home moms do throughout the day and imagine also working 40+ hours a week, and only getting 5 hours of sleep a day. I am not looking for a pat on the back or a gold star I just want credit where it is due. I have received some harsh criticism for my decision to go back to work. I went back to work one month after I had Mallorie. Not because I wanted to of course but because my job would not pay for any maternity leave. The first and worst criticism that I experienced was 3 months after I had Mallorie. We were at a Christmas party with friends and there was a "friend of a friend" there. She is a stay-at-home mom. A group of us moms were sitting in the living room with the kids while they played. She asked how old Mallorie was. I told her 3 months. and she then asked how it was just going back to work. I told her that I had been back to work for over 2 months now. She looked at me like I was the devil. She said "how could you do that to her? You need to bond with your daughter. I can not believe you could just leave your daughter like that!" I tried to laugh it off and said "She is probably so sick of me after being inside of me for 9 months she is happy to get away." Everyone else kind of laughed. I then said "I had to go back to work so you do what you have to do." I then went into the bathroom and cried. I cried a lot that night and the next day. The truth is I was (and still am) having a VERY hard time leaving her and putting her in daycare but it is what is best for her! This might have what put a "sour taste in my mouth" about some stay-at-home moms.
I am pretty proud that I keep up on the shopping, cleaning, laundry, and meals. I am not saying that I am super mom. There are definitely times that the house is messy and there are piles of clothes that need to be washed and some that need to be folded. I am so thankful that my hubby helps out. He will throw a load of laundry in or even cook dinner about once a week. My life is pretty stressful at times but it works and we get through it. I doubt I will ever be able to be a stay-at-home mom but hopefully I will get on first shift soon. I hope that this does not often anyone. I just want to get my opinion out there. (and rant!)
I was able to work part time after my kids were born and I'm thankful for that. I think you do deserve a pat on the back. It's hard work to go off to work and keep your house running too. And it's hard to have someone else take care of your child - but she knows she is loved and you are doing great! (And I don't know what's wrong with some people. They shouldn't speak out loud)
ReplyDeleteKalli, Hang in there! You are a great mom! I will pray for you this week for a sense of peace. Can't wait to see you guys and meet sweet Mallorie this summer!
ReplyDeleteAwww Thanks! I can not wait yo see you guys again either. It will be great to catch up! Thanks or the prayers they are much appreciated!
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